How to Attract Others With Your Body Language? | Personality Development | BV Pattabhiram
Greetings. How are you? We have made some episodes
on communications. Among them, We have learnt how the communications
should be, that is how to speak. And how not to speak. We have learned all of these. Today I am going to talk about
non-verbal communication. Non-verbal means, there would be no talks. Communicating without actually speaking. You might think how is it possible
to communicate without speaking. Communicating without actually
speaking is a very powerful process. How it would be is,
basically, it is a body language. Especially our facial
expressions while we talk. You might have watched the deaf and
dumb news. They wouldn’t speak at all. Even a traffic police constable
wouldn’t speak anything to anyone. He just waves like this. In the field of magic, there is a
magician named Chokkapu Venkata Ramana. He has developed a new technique. Nobody did that before in any country. He has combined both mime and
magic which he calls its Mimomagic. Mimomagic. It means performing the magic
without speaking. Actually, we need to talk
in order to perform magic. For example, he used to show two boxes. These are the two boxes with the
same size in all the aspects. They look like this. Without talking anything, There is a red box and a black box. Place it this way. He used to do this gesture,
to figure out which box is bigger. We could know that just by
looking at it; right? The red box is bigger
and black box is smaller. Again he would show both the
boxes in all the angles. Later we would place the
black one here. He would do like this. The black box is bigger than the red box. We might think how he did that.
Of course, it is a magical item. It is called a mime which
is action without words. There are a lot of artists
in the pantomime. Especially in the Telugu states, Artists like Jenny, Kaladhar, Madhu etc.
and they were doing wonders in this field. Earlier the pantomime was
confined to foreign countries alone. But now our people are also
doing it very well. Mime is the most important thing. So today, what my subject would be is, How do communicate when you speak, right? Without doing anything, Just with the eye movement and the lips
we can convey a message to a person. For example, I have a board. Let us draw two circles on the board. Imagine that these are faces. If I draw like this, we can say
that he is happy by looking at it. The same thing is drawn in reverse, It looks as if it is
crying like those in masks. It means, how does it
look when you speak? The first thing you have to remember is that
you have to communicate this way. If it is in reverse, your conversation
would stop at that point. Let us do a small exercise. Now, close your eyes and try to imagine. It is not a hypnotism. Close your eyes. You are chit-chatting with your friend. You were in your friend’s house.
Suddenly somebody knocked the door. The friend went and opened the door.
He asked, “Who are you?” Then the person said, “I wanted to
speak to him” pointing towards you. You would ask what is the matter and he says
that there was an emergency at your home. Then you started to worry
about what might have happened. Immediately you have started for home. You had fear inside, You were thinking if something happened
to your mother or father or relatives. You have gone running.
And after going home, It happened just as expected. Someone has expired and they have laid
down the body with a white cloth covering it. And all of them whom you have
remembered were all crying around. You were sad and you went
near to know who it was, You were invisible and you tried to
uncover the cloth, and it was you. Everybody was crying and
you have come outside. There, everybody was talking
to each other near the door. You have heard their conversation. In that conversation everybody
were criticizing you. He created the tension to
all the family members. It is because of him, it happened like that. He doesn’t have proper education, proper
job, proper behaviour or proper friends. Everybody was
speaking ill of you. Ok. You have felt so
dejected and came outside. Now, you open your eyes. You have analysed about the things
about which they have scolded you. You have changed your behaviour
so that you would be like all the others. And not being stubborn and narrow minded. So, you have changed. Now, close your eyes again. After you close your eyes,
the same scene had repeated. You were sitting with your friends. Somebody came. And knocked the door. They have asked for you. You have asked them what is the matter. They have asked you to come
home as there was an emergency. You have gone running. After you reach there,
it was the same scene. Everybody were crying. There was a dead body in the middle. It was covered with a cloth. When you uncovered it,
it was you. Everybody are crying. There were relatives and family members who
were talking to each other near the wall. How cruel God is!
How could he take away a good human? He had taken away a very
good man/girl. How good she or he was in terms
of love and behaviour. She or he had a lot of admiration for
the relatives and even friends. This person went to such a high position
though they had troubles. Everybody was praising you and they
were genuinely crying. Now, open your eyes. This is a very wonderful exercise. A person called Stephen R Covey had
said ‘Begin with the end’, Where it explains how to
remain in the final stages. As we have seen the second end, Think about it and, Correct your small faults and don’t be
like ‘It is my wish and will’ stubbornly, I have to change and the people
should talk good about me after my death. You might think that you wouldn’t
mind what everybody talks about you. They would talk but not with admiration. Till today, no one named their babies on
the names of Hitler or any other bad people. There might be a few admirers
but that is a different issue. So, when we come to our subject, Look here, there are eggs.
Basically, it is a single egg. The eyes and the face, Each one being different on every egg,
we could understand the expression; right? What he says about non-verbal
communication is, It influences the way a message
is interpreted by the receiver. You need not talk anything.
That communicates a message. “Includes all unwritten and
unspoken words” says he. Let me tell you how they would be. He says “Non-verbal cues speak
louder than words”. If all your family members stay silent, You would feel restless on that day. Even in general, they speak very less, But on that day, they were
deliberately avoiding you. Here the most important point is, These cues contain upto 93%
of the meaning of a message. They would give 93% of the message. How would they be?
There are few methods. Look. The first one is posture. When they come, if you be like this it means
that I am not interested in talking to you. The cinema directors would design
the postures in a wonderful way. The second one is the body language. Body manguage means, If I stare like this, when someone is
talking, it implies “What the hell do you know?” The third one is eye contact. Though he is speaking, if we look
down without making any eye contact. Next is blinking. Blinking constantly when someone speaks. Next one is tone. There is a difference between saying
“Yeah so what?” and “Okay so what happened?” And saying “Tell me after that..”
and saying “Yeah.. so what?” This will also come under voice category. Then smell. When you offer curry to someone
saying that it was made in your home, They did not scold. But it meant
that is was really horrible. This means it was so good. Right. Time. I didn’t answer you when
you have asked the question. I would be doing like this.
That means I am not interested in you. If any one of these gestures is exhibited, Even an illiterate person would understand
because he knows the body language. Moreover, to talk to a literate
person, a language is required. An illiterate would do this. Hence,
you have to observe the body language. You try to observe all these
types of non-verbal communication. The best thing you have to do is this.
Smile pleasantly. Ok? When you attend interviews, When you talk to new people, When you are listening to your wife, When you are listening to your father, When you are listening to your husband, Put aside whether you do it or not,
but do this. Right?
Farewell. Since you have been watching this programme
regularly, I feel very happy. To make this programme…