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How to Control ANGER? | Personality Development | Motivational Videos | Yandamoori Veerendranath

How to Control ANGER? | Personality Development | Motivational Videos | Yandamoori Veerendranath

Yandamoori Antharmukham. Welcome to Antharmukham. This time we shall discuss about,
“Anger, a mental disability.” We shall discuss,
‘How to control your anger?’ Let us first look into
the effect of the anger. An MLA called a person and informed him that He would be passing along his street
while campaigning for the elections. And also he would stop by his home for tea. The person became so thrilled by this. He asked his wife to
prepare breakfast and tea. And also asked his son
to keep the house sorted. As the MLA was passing through the street, In the process of sorting the house,
his son slipped an ink bottle. It was totally covered with the ink spill. The person slapped his son. He asked his wife to clean it quickly
as the MLA was about to come. At one side, her son was crying
and in this process of cleaning, His wife had added salt to
the tea instead of sugar. The MLA came and drank the tea. He spat
it out and everything went upside down. After the MLA left,
the person badly scolded his wife. The point here is, You have slipped the mobile or the
pen from your hands many times. Is it necessary to beat a child for
slipping the ink bottle? It is the first point. The second point is, In some hurry,
the wife had added salt instead of sugar, For the sake of the MLA
who changes every 5 years, Is it necessary to scold his wife
who would be with him his entire life? The effect of anger of spoiling the long
relation for the sake of tempory relation, The aim of this episode is to specify this. Generally,
on whom do you get angry? We say that our anger is triggered
when someone commits a mistake. It is not true. We wouldn’t get angry
at every person who commits a mistake. We get anger on our subordinates. The anger that we on get on our superiors,
is called as rage. Hence, tears are the sister of anger. When we are unable to
vent our anger on others, Such as our superiors,
people with authority, wealth etc. Then we wouldn’t get angry
but we get tears. The sibling of anger is tears. When we are unable to vent our rage on
others, we carry it in a briefcase. Wherever it might be, be it a toilet, if we
open the briefcase, we would release the rage. We would scream from the toilet
itself why the toilet was unclean. Actually, it was not the anger but
the rage about some other incident. I will give you an example. A clerk has been working
under a boss since 20 years, The clerk is very good
man, but he is incompetent. One day his boss called him and told him, “I am retiring. I still don’t understand how
I was able to manage with you for 20 years.” “I might have managed a donkey better than
you. Anyways, I am very happy”, and left. Actually he is a good
person but incompetent. It has been 25 years that he was married. He joined the job immediately
after the marriage. His boss compared him to a donkey, right? He
brought that rage to his home in his suitcase. His wife who generally
makes the best coffee, Unfortunately, she forgot
to add sugar on that day. Normally, he would say,”Kamala,
you would make a wonderful coffee.” “You have been making coffee for 25 years. Seems
like you have forgotten to add the sugar.” “Is your mood ok? Would you please go to
the kitchen… No, I would do it myself” Such a good person,
he would now open his suitcase. There would be same dialogues, “You have been making coffee since 25 years,
don’t you know to add the sugar?” “It would have been better
if I had married a donkey”, he would say. The donkey that was lying in the suitcase,
he released it now. She should have said, “Even I had the
same feeling” but she doesn’t say so. Because it was her husband and now that
the suitcase was passed onto her. The husband had passed
the briefcase to her, And he was reading the newspaper
in the front room happily. His son came. When he was asked why
he was late from school, He replied that he was stuck by looking at the
poster of Pavan Kalyan’s movie Agnyaathavaasi. Now it is her turn to open the
suitcase and so she slapped her son. If it was a normal time, She would have mildly scolded him
and offered him milk or biscuits. Now she had passed on the brief
case to him by slapping him. Now the suitcase is with the son. He couldn’t vent his anger on his mother. So, he kicked a little dog that was beside. The dogs doesn’t carry any suit case.
They go for immediate action. That dog went to the front room and bit
the person who was reading the newspaper. If someone in the home carries an anger,
the way it affects the whole family life, This example proves it. But can the anger be controlled?
Yes, it can be happily controlled. What we call this one as, How to control anger?
How to control your amygdala? This is the theory. In a small country in Africa,
they don’t cry when the people die. They would carry the dead to the
graveyard laughing and dancing. Either they are buried or cremated. Why they would laugh is that, They believe that, the happier they are,
the happier the soul would be in the heaven. When they have believed it, they wouldn’t
be sad, instead, they would be happy. This is called ‘tuning the brain’. Once you tune the brain,
everything is possible. Let me tell you another example, Our culture, ethics, country,
circumstances and the society around us, Even these are dependent on our tuning. Suppose a mother-in-law had died. She was a ruthless demon and she had
troubled her daughter-in-law in every way. She had died. Now, her two daughters, sons-in-law and the
other two other daughters-in-law were crying. But this new daughter-in-law was
just staring at the dead body. She feels like she wanted to dance and sing
‘My mother-in-law is dead’. The mother of the
daughter-in-law had observed her. What were the gestures she
was making for her daughter? She was asking her to cry
forcibly or at least act. Because it wouldn’t seem good if
the new daughter-in-law doesn’t cry. Now, I would tell you another example. Suppose there is a family where
there is a single girl child. The mother looks more
beautiful than the daughter. She got her daughter married.
Her son-in-law is a bodybuilder. Only 3 people were staying in the home,
including the son-in-law. After an year, the mother-in-law has died. The daughter is making the phone calls
and informing about the mother’s death. But the son-in-law was sitting in
front of the dead body And was crying ‘Oh mother-in-law
you are dead’, let us imagine this. His mother who was sitting over there, What were the gestures she
was making for her son? She was telling him not cry. Because it wouldn’t seem good if
the son-in-law cries for the mother-in-law. So, if the mother-in-law dies, the
daughter-in-law should cry, But not the son-in-law. So this is our structured culture
which we have enacted in our lives. So we are tuned according to this. That men shouldn’t cry more and
women have to grieve deeply. There are a few countries where
they don’t cry if someone dies. They silently grieve, which
is different from crying. There are a lot of such things. This is all called tuning the brain. How to control the anger? I have already told you
that it is suitcase theory. They call it ‘pause button’. Pause button means, Anger is not an action,
it is a reaction for somebody’s action. For the work done by the others,
our reaction is anger. Sadness and fear are reactions. If you put a pause button between the action
and the reaction just like a tape recorder, Once if you press it and delay,
our every reaction would be different. It was not quoted by me but, Stephen R Covey had written in his book,
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. After I have read this,
my anger almost got controlled. Let me explain about this. Look at this image. There is a pause button between
the action and the reaction. When we press the pause button,
we have to remember 4 things. The first one is, introspection. The introspection means self analysis. The second one is consciousness
which means self-respect. The third one is Johari Windows. The fourth one is Tablet and Fever. First, let us look into self analysis. Suppose when you are going on the road,
suddenly somebody kicked you from the back. Firstly you were shocked,
you didn’t understand anything. You turned back and asked
him why he had kicked you. He answered that he kicked you
because you looked like a monkey. You were more shocked and angered
after listening to what he said. You were holding your fist like this
and asked him the same question. He then asked to turn your face. “Tell me one more time that I
look a monkey”, you have told him. He then replied, “Sorry sir,
you don’t look like a monkey but a Langur” ‘Then’ you have hit him. Why I have mentioned ‘then’ because, Everybody has a point,
which is called negative bliss point. Where we cannot control our emotions, Where we throw away our food plates, Where we smash our mobiles
by tossing it to the ground, Where we start using foul language, When we forget our refinement, We call it, a contol point. After crossing the control point, we
would start exhibiting the wild reactions. When he called you langur,
you lost your control and hit him. When you had hit him,
this ring got stuck in his eye. When you are pulling it out,
a pop sound came. The eye ball came out. He caught the eye ball. The nerves were dangling out and
the blood was flowing out profusely. You were shocked. Meanwhile, two people came from inside
and told you that he was a mental patient. You didn’t understand what to do. The anger that was there till then,
what did it turn into? Love, compassion, guilt feeling, mercy etc, it
turned into these many emotions within a second. If you would have waited for a second,
it is called self-analysis. Why would anyone tell us anything or
hit us from the back on the roads? If you would have looked at him why
he called us a monkey or a langur, You would have seen the board,
‘mental hospital’. Waiting for that one second,
our reactions would be different. This is called first introspection. The second one is, consciousness. When do we get the anger,
frustration, fear, sadness etc? They come whenever the works
we planned are not completed. Despair, detachment, unrest, children being
poor at studies, getting no seat in EAMCET, Financial problems, health problems,
health problems to the closed ones etc, When all these exist,
the frustration would increase. Hence, this wouldn’t be the reason,
it would be something else. Let me give you an example how
the dissatisfaction happens. A young man was newly married
and it had been a week. He told his wife that he would
return from his office by 5 pm, And at 6 pm they would go to the temple. After the temple programme
they would have dinner. And from dinner, they would
go to the second show movie. So he planned like that
and it is a happy planning. But life would never be like this. When he had closed the office
at 5 pm and returning home, His friend had called him and informed,
“Our friend had returned from Australia,” “And he had brought a
bottle of whiskey from there,” “All four of us shall drink
it today in the evening.” Now the problem is whether to go out
with his wife or drink with his friends. Now another problem arised. His boss had called him and informed
that he wanted to promote him, And asked him to spend 3 hours in the office
and leave after the completion of the work. Now he has to decide from these three. This is the example of self
consciousness not working. What would this person do? He would go to the temple with his wife. He goes to dinner and then watches
the movie but his mind is not here. He would think, “Oh god,
I was happy untill last week.” “Now I am married. My friends are
drinking over there and I am stuck here.” He wouldn’t receive any nirvana. He can neither enjoy the cinema nor the
dinner. He belongs to the first category. The second category would be, Some people would start crying,
after sipping the first peg. He was fine till the first peg,
but he would start his whining, “Idiot, why did you bring
this alcohol bottle today.” “I lost my promotion because of you”,
he said this and started crying. He is not enjoying the drink. The third case would be, He was working in the office.
He tried calling home but nobody answered. He was worried where his wife had gone. He thinks whether she had
gone to the movie alone. And he did everything wrong in the office, He was demoted instead of being promoted. A lot of people would be like this. When you go to a hotel and order a puri, But, after looking at a
fellow customer’s plate You would instantly regret
for not ordering the idli., Even the puri wouldn’t
give you the happiness. In such times, anger and
sadness would aggravate. But, what can be done? Every person should develop
three personalities in them. A public prosecutor,
defence lawyer and a judge. Firstly,
what the defence lawyer should say is, “Your wife is new here” “It had been just a week after marriage.” “She trusted you and came all the
way by leaving her family members” “All these experiences
wouldn’t strike again”. “Go along with your wife for a movie.”
“Have dinner with your wife.” “Go to the temple”, All these
are told by the defence lawyer. The public prosecutor says, “The wife would be there
with you every time.” “But the office-promotion
is the most important aspect” “Convince your wife and start working.”
These are told by the public prosecutor. I am not specifing wrong or right. A judge has to pass a judgement
about which is the better decision. After taking the judgement,
put aside the other options Stick to it and if you work on it heartfully,
there would be no self-consciouness feel. This is the second point. Look at the image once again. The third point is Johari Windows. If you are angered frequently or during
contradiction or in every situation, Neither a person nor any other
situation is the cause cites Johari. Considering 4 windows namely blind,
hidden, unknown etc. He would describe them
and what he would say is, The reason for your involuntary
actions would be something else. If a mother is annoying her husband, It is not because of the husband’s mistakes, But it might be the feeling of her son’s
under-achievement in the academics. If a husband is harrassed by a money lender, The husband might shout at his
wife in the home. He says that the anger can be
controlled if these reasons are found. Lastly, Fever and Tablet There is only one way to control the anger.
Always believe that it was your mistake. Believe that it was your mistake,
you wouldn’t get angered. A person visited a doctor suspecting
that his wife became hearing impaired, He said, “Doctor, I doubt that my wife
was suffering from hearing impairment.” “Please suggest me some eardrops, so that I
would pour it in her ears when she sleeps” Then the doctor told him, “Find out the
intensity of the impairment, high or low?” “Accordingly, the concentrated or diluted
dosage can be chosen”, the doctor told. “I can do that in 2 minutes”, the person
told the doctor and he came back home. His wife was facing away
and cutting the brinjals. He stood there and asked, “Kamala
what are you cooking for the lunch?”, The distance between them was 100
metres, so it was not audible. He went near and asked her many times. As he was not getting the
answer and his BP was rising. He went very near and when
he asked what’s for the lunch, “Aren’t you listening, I have told you 6
times that it was brinjal”, his wife said. He was the one with hearing impairment,
not his wife. Anytime, if you think that the mistake
was yours, you would never get angry. Lastly, there is one point. Whenever there are instant reactions to
anger, gruesome incidents would take place. Suppose a person took
loan from another person. The lender told his son that the person
has to repay the loan amount, and died. The son took a pistol
and went to the borrower, “If you do not repay the
loan by 7 am tomorrow, “I will come to your home,
shoot your entire family, “And also shoot myself as my father
was dead.”, “This would happen if do not repay me by 7 am
tomorrow”, the son told the borrower and left. The next day at 7 am, the son was sitting
like James Bond and the borrower was coming. He asked “Have you brought the money?” The borrower said that he didn’t bring the
cash but before he could finish the sentence, He took the pistol and shot him. While falling down, he said that he
didn’t bring the cash but cheque. See, how much tragedy has happened. If he would have waited for a second,
the consecution could have been avoided. Therefore, consiousness, self analysis,
Johari Windows and fever/tablet. If you remember these 4,
you will never get the anger. Thank you.

100 comments on “How to Control ANGER? | Personality Development | Motivational Videos | Yandamoori Veerendranath

  1. వీడియో చాలా బాగుంది కానీ adds చాలా ఎక్కువగా వస్తున్నాయి.. నేను చాలా వీడియోలు youtube లో చూస్తుంటా కానీ ఒకటి లేదా రెండు adds వస్తాయి..ఇందులో మాత్రం 4 వచ్చాయి.. ఏదేమైన మంచి video..

  2. సూపర్ బాగా వివరించారు. ఇది ప్రతిఒక్కరికీ ఒక పాఠం.

  3. మొత్తానికి అత్తకి అల్లుడికి సంబంధం పెట్టారుగా.

  4. Sir garu cheppadaniki baga cheptharu kani close ga chusthe mundu sir ki first kopam ekkuva mundu meeru kopam thagginchukondi tharvatha meeru cheppandi memu vintam

  5. First of all example is wrong …. I think no one will keep INK bottle in home including g manufacturer . Try something different.


  7. chaala baaga cheppanu sir
    Naku e Madhya ekkuvaga tention, kopam vasthunnai
    a Pani Misha shradha vundatledhu manasantha
    chikaakuga vuntundhi
    health damage avuthunnattundhi
    pillalitho home work kuda
    please evaina tips cheppagalara please
    kopam thaggadaniki

  8. But,kopam is an instant ,spontaneous reaction no other thought won't come between this reaction ,after the reaction only we will come to realize…

  9. నా సమస్యను క్షుణ్ణంగా సమర్థవంతంగా అర్థం చేసుకోవడానికి సహయపడినందుకు చాలా కృతజ్ఞతలు

  10. Kopam gurinchi nuvvu cheppatam memu vintam…..nuvvu enni sarlu seminar la madyalo vellipoyavo telida .
    Yoga manchidi kadu antav
    Hindu literature Ni tidatav
    Nu cheppodammaa….

  11. Mr.Yandamuri Veerendranath Gaaru Nenu Mee Video Comments Chusanu Vaalu Cheppindi Nijame Meeru Cheppindi Nijame Kaani VIDEO Title Kopam Oka Lopam Ani Kaakunda Kopam Kaliganappudu Ventane Theevra Nirnayam Theesukunte Jarige Anardalu Ani Pedithe Saripothundi
    Andukani Kopam Ravadam Sahajam Kaani Kopam lo Spandanaku mundu Konni Kshanaalu Alochinchali Ade Parshkaram Andarki

  12. same examples he gives million times….lol….vaadu maaradu, maarithey adey sollu 1000 times chepthaadaa? Self Dabbaa? Basic Psychology knowledge lekundaa cheppindey cheppi…entidi maakentidi????

  13. Sir…ee video lo kondharu negetive ga comment chesaru avi chusi nenu mee video kuda anthaga pattichukokunda na wats app msgs ki reply isthu unna….kani ee video poorthiga chudaniki mukya karanam naku kopamekuvva …adhi nivarinchukotanike mee video poorthiga chudalsi vachindhi…kani chala baga chepparu…..very nice…naku nachindhi meeru cheppina mata🙏lu

  14. Hi all కోపమ్ గురుంచి పూర్తి అవగాహనా రావాలన్న కోపం తగ్గించుకోవాలన్న ,తన కోపమె తన శత్రువు అని ఎందుకన్నారో తెలుసుకోవాలన్న మంతెన సత్యనారాయణ రాజు గారి వీడీయోస్ చుడండి .only కోపం అనే topic పెన 14 videos చేసారు it helped me a lot to overcome anger 🙏🏻😊

  15. Sir I was not able to concentrate on your words. I think it was because of I was looking at the gold fishes in the aquarium…

  16. Sir nenu house wife job cosam try chestunna mavaripi anumanupaduthunnanu jest evariniena chusina tattucolecapotunnanu nijaniki emiledu Keni nenu edo anestunnanu my varu appudappu edchestunnaru

  17. Sir
    Meeru yeppudaina kopa ginchu kunnara….oka vela kopam vaste kaaranam yento cheppandi…thank u

  18. కొపం గురించి మాట్లాడె అర్హత నీకులేదురా రెయి కాలెజిలో కుర్రళ్ళపై కొప్పడ్డావు ఎగతాళి చెసావు నువ్వే దొ పెద్ద పుడింగిలాగా ఫొజులిచ్చావు అపరా నీ సోది ఫస్ట్ నీలో ఎన్నిలొపాలున్నాయొ చూసుకొడానికి నీకు నీ జర్మసరిపొదు సంపాదించింది చాలు మూసుకుని కూర్చొ

  19. Mee fish ke anger management nerpali😁 Just kidding. Atta meeda kopam dutta meeda chupinchakudadu annaru anduke.

  20. orey idhii nuvu chepadamu oka joke ….endukanthee neekuu emanaa first vachede kopamu ….just 1 example- why did that lady fan Suicide (because of you cheated her? ) 🤣🤣🤣🤮

  21. Sir my name is gattu venkateshwarlu I want become just like you. Please bless me sir. In this world every is new itself I am correct sir.

  22. Naku sodhi vinnattu vundi…asalu kopam vachinapudu anta time vundidda….reaction ki aapataniki 🙄😤

  23. Kopam oka manasika lopam kadu adi porapatu kadu paristutulu manshini oka peak stage dathaka nindalu padi padi
    kattalu tenchukune avasam la bayataki vastundi
    Poni tappu chesina vadiki ikkada siksha correct ga unda ante vadu bagane untadu
    Vadu mana dabbu tesukuni mana tone panicheyinchu kuni manalne job teyinchi malli mana meede nindalu vestadu
    antha varaku idi correct.
    Chustu urukunte antha kaina teginche rakam ilanti vallani tanni na dabullu nenu tesukuntanu. Vadu job ivadaniki sidam ga ledu
    kani nindalu vestadu na individuality disturb chesthadu ayina vadini one year bear chesanu
    ippudu job ivvadu alagani vadili pettadu HCL Exit Management portal working petti unchi

  24. Kopam manasika lopama?? Em matladutunnav…..kopam anedhi, akali, dappika, laga oka body production…Nike baga telsinattu matladaku….Kopam rakapovadam kuda oka lopam…..

  25. Nice explanation sir కొంతమంది అసలు మనం కోపగించుకొంటున్నాం అని సంస్కారం తో ఆలోచిస్తే కదా సార్ ఆత్మపరిశీలన చేసుకోవడానికి

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