Modern Family – No Internet Contest (1)
Hey Here you go… Guys, breakfast !Guys! Phil.Hello. Hello. Totally with you. Kids, put your dishes in the dishwasher. Okay, no. That’s it. Everybody, gadgets down now! Why are you freaking out ? Because you’re all so involved with your little gizmos nobody is even talking! Families are supposed to talk. What are you doing that’s so important?Oh, I’m locking in my fantasy roster. I’m unbeatable.We’re totally getting an above-ground pool. Die, stupid, die! Luke, I told you to put that down now. Come on, buddy.One second. I’m about to beat dad’s record. You heard your mother. What is so funny? Nothing. “Mom’s insane.” Thank you, Haley.At least we talk. Okay, we have called this family meeting because the personal electronics have gotten out of control. Starting today. There’s going to be a one-week ban on all cell phones, texting, Im’ ing, video chatting, video-gaming, anything on the internet.How am I supposed to do my homework? The way I did. With a chisel and a piece of stone.Phil.Yeah, can’t unplug my funny bone. I have a huge science paper due.
And we have a great set of encyclopedias…Somewhere. What do you think the public library is for? I thought that was the bathroom for homeless people hmm. Can I still play Plants vs. Zombies? Are you not listening? But you learn about plants and plants are life Are you against life? How am I supposed to talk to my friends? Talk to them at school or in a juice bar or on the house phone.Nobody even knows our number. I don’t even know our number.So you’re saying dad’s not going to go online? Yep. Dad?That’s right. What about fantasy football? Not a problem my team is set this week? I am completely on board your mother’s horse and buggy to yesteryear. For the next week. I may as well be Amish Jebediah Dunphy , raising barns, witnessing murders, making electric fireplace hearts. Oh, this is so unfair ! You know what ? We’re gonna make this fun. Turn it into a game. Whoever stays unplugged the longest, wins. Not what I had in mind Phil. What do we win? What do you want? I want a new computer ! Done It ! We’re gonna get them off of electronics with the promise of more electronics? I want chicken pot pie. And Chicken ! I want a car. No way ! Done ! Yeah, I’m getting a car !!! We cannot afford a third car. Relax. They’re never gonna last as long as us. Oh honey. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith on you. Hey ! Hi, honey how was your day at work? Amazing !!!Great, what happened? Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web checking football stats I put on some mellow music and I meditated ! Wow, for how long? I have no idea. I just woke up 20 minutes ago. Hey, mom I need a bar of soap and a black marker for an art project. Okay. Well, the markers are over there and the soap is under the sink. Isn’t it great how much time you have, now that you’re not wasting it online? Oh my god. Is this what you always sound like? Look what I’ve built, Dad. Dunphy towers 200 condos, a happy family in every one. Way to go, buddy! I got to hand it to you, honey. 24 hours without video games and he’s already contributing to society. Die! Die! To be fair, he’s using his imagination . There’s no fire escapes! They cut corners! I’ll cut your corners! Oh Hello? Oh, hi. Luke, honey, it’s for you .
Hi, Griffin. How are you? Yeah. He’s right here. Hold on. Hey, Griffin. Oh My God!!! What happened? There’s a parasailing- donkey video on YouTube. Oh my god ! Wait Luke! What about the contest? I quit. I’m not made of stone, You know. Uhh! I can’t believe it. I got a “B” on my paper. Good for you ! No, it would be good for you. It’s terrible for me ! Thanks your moldy encyclopedias, my take on mitosis was completely out of date. They don’t even call it “protoplasm ‘” anymore. It’s “cytoplasm” . Well, you could have asked one of us. Now you’re making jokes? I’m not making a joke. Really? What’s the difference between a “gamete” and a “zygote”? Don’t fall for it, Claire. She’s just making up words. Huh.That’s it. I need the Internet. I’m out of you stupid contest ! Hmm …and then there were three. She’s kind of scary . We’re not buying her car.