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Saudi Arabia | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Saudi Arabia | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix


Now, if you’ve been watching the news, then you know that Saudi Arabia has been
engulfed in a massive diplomatic crisis over the gruesome killing
of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. After weeks of denial,
Saudi Arabia has finally admitted Washington Post columnist
Mr. Jamal Khashoggi died inside their consulate in Turkey. [reporter] The top Saudi prosecutor
now says the killing was premeditated. Last week the Saudis said
it was an accident after a fistfight. [reporter 2] And of course that’s
a real shift in the narrative from them. This is the most unbelievable cover story since Blake Shelton won Sexiest Man Alive. [laughter] Are you kidding me? He’s the fourth sexiest judge
of The Voice. [laughter] Like, did Adam Levine walk in
and just see this like, What the fuck? Blake? And this entire cover-up
exists for one reason. Some analysts say the Saudis’ story
is all designed to protect one man. Turkish officials suggesting that Saudi crown prince Muhammad bin Salman
dispatched a hit squad to execute and dismember Washington Post
journalist Jamal Khashoggi. Just a few months ago
crown prince Muhammad bin Salman aka MBS was hailed as the reformer
the Arab world needed. But the revelations
about Khashoggi’s killing have shattered that image,
and it blows my mind that it took the killing
of a Washington Post journalist for everyone to go, Oh.
I guess he’s really not a reformer. Meanwhile, every Muslim person you know
was like, Yeah, no shit! He’s the crown prince of Saudi Arabia! [laughter] So now would be a good time to reassess
our relationship with Saudi Arabia. And I mean that as a Muslim
and as an American. For Muslims, Saudi Arabia is home to two
of the holies cities in the Islamic world: Mecca and Medina.
Now, you’ve probably heard of Mecca. It’s often used to describe
everything except Mecca. [male reporter] We’re taking you
to the Mecca of Christmas ornaments. [female reporter] The Mecca
of all chicken sandwich shops. The Mecca of lost luggage. The Mecca for like martial arts. -Oh, thanks Action Bronson.
-[laughter] Mecca and Medina are basically
the Muslim Infinity Stones of holiness. At least once in our lives
we have to go to Mecca to make pilgrimage aka Hajj.
It’s like Coachella, except you can’t get annoyed when people
say they had a religious experience. Saudi in Saudi Arabia comes from
the actual name of a family. That’s the House of Saud
that has been governing Arabia since 1932. Can you imagine if the United States was suddenly named
after our leader in 1932? We would be the Herbert States of Hoover. [laughter] Or worse. Hooverville. Look how that turned out. That’s an AP Gov joke.
I’m sorry, if you don’t get that joke… you weren’t in AP Gov. Saudi Arabia is crazy. One giant family controls everything. Reports say there are anywhere
from 5,000 to over 15,000 members of the Saud family, with 2,000 allegedly
controlling the wealth and the power. Some estimates put their net worth at more than one trillion dollars, one trillion. That’s like the number of stars
in the universe or the number of times
women have been betrayed by Susan Collins. [laughter] When you add it up: its insane wealth,
its place in Islam and the Middle East, it all makes Saudi Arabia
a country of huge significance. Which is why every single president
since FDR has maintained a strategic alliance
with Saudi Arabia. Whether it’s for oil or arms deals, we have always played it cool
with the Saudis no matter what they do. Remember, America hates terrorists. Saudi Arabia gave them passports. Saudi Arabia was basically
the boy band manager of 9/11. They didn’t write the songs,
but they helped get the group together. [laughter] Suddenly, America’s marriage
of convenience with Saudi Arabia is starting to feel outdated. How outdated? Our military has been working
in Saudi Arabia for decades. And if you are sent on a training mission
in Saudi Arabia, this is the official military document
you get. It describes the Saudi people
as indigenous tribes with some later mixture of Negro blood
from slaves imported from Africa. Oh, America. Even in boring technical manuals
you still somehow manage to be racist. This shit is still on the internet,
you guys! But, Hasan,
it was probably written a while ago. Really, it was updated June 2018. But, Hasan, these things
are like an iTunes user agreement. It’s probably at the bottom.
Oh no, it’s Chapter 1, page 5. Okay. But is ‘negro’ still a bad word? Dictionary.com: offensive. [applause] Now let’s get back to Muhammad bin Salman. Remember, he was known as the reformer who was gonna change the Arab world. People in the West fell for MBS
because they bought his sales pitch. I mean, come on!
He lifted the ban on women driving! A female singer in Saudi Arabia
has dropped a new music video, rapping behind the wheel of a car
she can now drive legally. Wheel is in my hand
And I step on the pedal I won’t ask for a ride I’ll drive myself, I’ve got the license Strap seatbelt over the abaya R for reverse, D for drive
You control the machine If it’s Ford or Cressida
You won’t be happy As a fan of progress and women’s rights,
this is awesome. But as a fan of hip hop,
this is straight garbage. First of all, the car is dirty. If you’re gonna make a rap video
about driving, get a car wash. Second of all, she’s rapping about driving, but for most
of the video, she sits in the car, she sits on the car,
she stands in the sunroof, she does everything but drive that car. Also, this is a Hyundai. I didn’t even know you could buy Hyundais. I thought they only existed
in Hertz parking lots. [laughter] Giving women the right to drive
was just the start. MBS’s main attraction was Vision 2030. Now, I know Vision 2030 sounds like
Elon Musk’s new optometry company, but it’s actually a plan to end Saudis’
reliance on oil and diversify the economy. Last summer he went on a world tour to drum up investment in Saudi Arabia,
and when he got to America, MBS was greeted like a rock star. [reporter] He’s already met
with Seattle’s tech heavyweights, sharing a laugh, there, you can see,
with Amazon’s Jeff Bezos. [reporter 2] He will have visited
five states plus the district of Columbia, four presidents, five newspapers,
uncounted moguls, and Oprah. -Oprah?
-[laughter] He got to hang with Oprah? The last foreigner
America got this excited about was the Italian peach
in Call Me by Your Name. [laughter] This is a niche art-house joke, you know?
Just trying to hit all the pockets. But that all came crashing down
in the wake of Khashoggi’s death. This is not some back alley in Istanbul. This is inside
the frickin’ Saudi consulate. I can never do business
with Saudi Arabia again. I feel used and abused. Yes. If there’s one victim in all of this, it’s senator Lindsey Graham. [applause] Here’s the crazy part: MBS was shocked by all of the anger over the killing of one journalist. According to the Wall Street Journal,
on a phone call with Jared Kushner, MBS asked, Why the outrage? And frankly, MBS’s confusion
is completely understandable. He’s been getting away
with autocratic shit like this for years, with almost no blowback
from the international community. Saudi Arabia’s young crown prince arresting hundreds of his own cousins
in a power grab. [reporter] Many of those arrested are
potential rivals or critics of the prince. One of the people MBS rounded up
in his power grab was this guy: Al-Waleed bin Talal.
He’s one of the richest men in the world. And he was detained at The Ritz-Carlton
for 3 months. And while he was there,
this hostage video dropped to let everyone know
that everything with MBS was absolutely 100%… fine. -There are no charges.
-Okay. Just some discussions between me
and the government. But rest assured that we are
at the end of the whole story. And we are very comfortable,
because I’m in my country, I’m in my city, so… I feel at home, so no problem at all here. Okay, there’s definitely a problem here,
I’m sorry. I don’t know if he’s guilty,
but why is his face on his own mug? This is literally a mug shot. [laughter, applause] The rest of this video just turns into
the worst episode of MTV Cribs ever. I’ll show you my pantry here. These are my salads. And this is my Diet Pepsi. And that’s my ketchup. Always. Why is he bragging about ketchup when there are two solid-gold lotas
right behind him? I know they’re teapots,
but, come on, they look like lotas, man. By the way, when I say this is
one of the worst episodes of Cribs, I’m including the Trick Daddy episode. If y’all not familiar with this,
this is called baby wipes. Whatever you want.
This keeps boo-boo stains out ya drawers. This keeps crust out ya drawers. No grown man needs to be walking around
with no crust in their drawers. When you do the number two, use Wet Ones. -Okay.
-[laughter] Wet Ones are great, but Trick Daddy
still should’ve used a lota. Some people are looking at me,
they’re like, What is a lota? If you’ve ever been
to a brown person’s house, they’ll have this small watering pot
in the corner of their bathroom, but there won’t be a plant in there.
That’s a lota! Lotas are the manual transmissions
of bidets. You go number two, you pour it
in your hand, you just get to work. A lot of people think it’s gross,
but you know what I think is gross? Toilet paper. Okay, toilet paper is gross. If you walk through dog shit
in your Air Jordans, and if I only gave you
a piece of toilet paper to clean it up, you would think it’s nasty, too,
so why don’t we treat our butts with the same respect
we treat our Air Jordans? You thought you were coming to just see
this woke TED Talk, little did you know… you were also gonna get booty health tips. MBS’s power grab was just
his standard operating procedure. Just look at how he became crown prince: according to The New Yorker,
MBS became crown prince after his predecessor and cousin,
Mohammed bin Nayef, was subjected to excruciating pain
until he abdicated the throne. The Saudi government has denied the story,
but there are many more like it. In 2016, U.S. intelligence picked up
the crown prince talking about his moves to try to keep his mother
away from his father, because he felt that she was not on board with his plans for a power grab. She was under house arrest. He put his mom under house arrest
so she couldn’t stop his rise to power? That’s insane. Putting an Arab mom on house arrest
is like trying to imprison Magneto. She’s just gonna escape,
and there’s gonna be hell to pay. Again, the Saudi government
has denied this story, but none of this would come as a surprise
if you actually lived in Saudi Arabia, because in Saudi Arabia,
do you know what his nickname is? Abu Rasasa. Which means Father of the Bullet. That is the most gangster name ever. Do you know what El Chapo means? Shorty. [laughter] Prisons are filling up in Saudi Arabia. Hundreds are being detained, including
critics of MBS and political activists. Some of the most prominent activists
are women who protested the driving ban. And MBS had them arrested,
and several of them are still in prison. Even executions are up: the country is on track to execute
more than 2,000 people by the year 2030. Now that’s the Vision 2030
nobody’s talking about. Strong-arming, coercion,
detaining people… these are MBS’s go-to moves,
and he’s been getting away with all of it, so of course he would call Jared like,
Hey! Why the outrage? Our relationship with Saudi Arabia has always been
a complete mindfuck for me. As Muslims, we have to pray towards Mecca. We make pilgrimage to Mecca.
We access God through Saudi Arabia, a country that I feel
does not represent our values. But, Hasan, there are a lot of things
people are conflicted about. Look at Amazon, Amazon’s messed up. I don’t pray towards Seattle, okay? [laughter] Saudi Arabia is only 2%
of the entire Muslim population, but whenever Saudi does something wrong, Muslims around the world
have to live with the consequences. Hey, don’t chop off my hand Saudi-style! But when Saudi does something right and MBS extends the most basic freedoms
to his people, all of a sudden he’s in Oprah’s Book Club? That’s insane! And we haven’t even gotten to Yemen yet, which is the biggest tragedy
of the MBS era. [male reporter]
The Saudi intervention in Yemen began with the rise of 32-year-old
crown prince Muhammad bin Salman. [female reporter] Local sources say
tens of thousands of their fighters have been killed since the war started. The situation in Yemen, today, right now, to the population of the country,
looks like the apocalypse. The conflict in Yemen
is extremely complex, but here are the cliff notes
in under 40 seconds. Yemen was spiraling into civil war. The Houthi rebels, who’ve fought
the government for years, almost seized power in 2015. Then Saudi Arabia intervened
to prop up the Yemeni government. Saudi was like, Yo, I gotchu. Don’t worry, but there’s something
you should know. I think these rebels
are getting help from Iran. That’s important because
Saudi Arabia and Iran hate each other. So, Saudi Arabia started bombing
the shit out of rebel territory, compliments of the West, and now many experts think
Saudi Arabia is using Yemen as a proxy war against Iran
to control the region. Take three wars, shove them
into the Arab world’s poorest country, and that’s the conflict in Yemen. [cheering, applause] Don’t clap. That is a global atrocity. It is the worst of everything happening
in one place, and people keep wondering, Will this ever end? -So it’s basically the Golden Globes.
-[laughter] Over the last three years, the Saudi coalition has launched more
than 18,000 airstrikes against Yemen. That is insane. If we’re talking
Middle East bombing, that’s up there. Those are almost Obama numbers. Almost. And all that bombing
has led to catastrophic devastation. [reporter] Saudi Arabia and its allies
have breached the basic rules of war. Civilians have been repeatedly targeted, with some attacks
on schools and hospitals. Thirteen million people in Yemen
are at risk of starvation in what could become
the world’s worst famine for a century. The war in Yemen is one of the worst
humanitarian crises in the Middle East, which is a high bar to clear. Being the biggest crisis
in the Middle East is like being the biggest
subway masturbator in New York. It’s a title no one wants, but the competition is fierce. By all accounts, this is MBS’s war,
but if you ask MBS about it, he pulls a Shaggy,
he’s like, Hey, it wasn’t me! [woman] Do you acknowledge that
it has been a humanitarian catastrophe? 5,000 civilians killed
and children starving there? [speaks Arabic] [interpreter] It is truly very painful,
and I hope that this militia ceases using the humanitarian situation
to their advantage in order to draw sympathy
from the international community. Instead of calling off the airstrikes,
one thing MBS did was throw money at the problem, seriously. He wrote a check for $930 million
to the U.N. for humanitarian aid to Yemen. Come on. If there was ever a time
for a giant Powerball check, this was it. Damn, $930 million. That’s a lot of money.
You know what’s free, though? Not bombing Yemen. Whether it’s Yemen, Jamal Khashoggi
or human rights violations, do you really think it’s going to change
our relationship with Saudi Arabia? In terms of the order of $110 billion,
think of that, $110 billion. All they’re gonna do is
give it to other countries, and I think that would be
very foolish for our country. America is going to keep cashing
Saudi checks. And not just for military equipment. Just this week Saudi Arabia announced
more than $30 billion of new deals. Let’s be real. Oil companies, financial institutions
and defense contractors, nothing will make them say no
to Saudi money. But there may be one sector of the economy
that we can expect more from. The Saudis have become
kind of the funder of last resort for these big, late-stage
privately held tech companies. Saudi Arabia has invested $3.5 billion
in Uber alone, so they have a lot of money
in the United States. 3.5 billion. Thanks to MBS,
the Saudis effectively own 10% of Uber, which makes complete sense. Saudi Arabia and Uber are both places
women drivers don’t feel safe. [laughter] Too real? Tech companies are swimming
in more Saudi cash than a Bugatti dealership
in Beverly Hills. All of these companies
have taken Saudi investment through a Japanese company
called SoftBank. Slack, WeWork, Fanatics, DoorDash, Wag. Wag! -The dog walking app.
-[laughter] That is crazy.
Muslims are investing in the dog market. You know how we feel about dogs. Muslims feel about dogs the same way
Americans feel about Post Malone. We’re cool with them… we just don’t want them in the house. [laughter] They’re gonna get the carpet dirty.
My sister’s in there. [laughter] Since 2016, MBS has invested
almost $11 billion in Silicon Valley, making Saudi Arabia the largest
single funding source for U.S. startups. Come on, Silicon Valley,
you’re supposed to be hippie capitalists. WeWork won’t let you expense meat, but you take money from Saudi Arabia? So you’re against slaughterhouses,
unless they’re in Yemen? But hey! Try our co-working spaces!
We got Philz Coffee! [laughter] What the fuck? Look, I am genuinely rooting
for change in Saudi Arabia. I am rooting for the people
of Saudi Arabia. There are people in Saudi Arabia
fighting for true reform, but MBS is not one of them. And to those who continue
to work with him, just know that with every deal you close, you are simply helping entrench
an absolute monarch under the guise of progress, because ultimately,
MBS is not modernizing Saudi Arabia. The only thing he’s modernizing
is Saudi dictatorship.

97 comments on “Saudi Arabia | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

  1. Everyone out there wishing for an end of the saudi dictatorship…. Just think about it when there will be evil democracy in our gulf just like your european countries.. We the people of gulf are happy dont try to interfere…

  2. May Allah curse this vile human. Slandaring, Fake news, False info, vile content. nothing is funny about this. Insulting to Islam.

  3. "I bear witness that there is no al-lah but GOD, and Muhammad was a messenger of familiar spirits = the most wordy of burning in hell – (quran surah maryam 19:70)"…….. Mohammad forgot to read (Leviticus 19:31)….. . .. …… …….

  4. What does the “my sisters in there” joke in reference to post-Malone and a dog coming into your house mean?

  5. Even your country is the mother of Terrorism what they did in Iraq , Syria , Vietnam , Libya and Afghanistan ??

  6. Hasan, i respect you and Patriot Act's team so much for speaking all of these things that people would not bother/scared of addressing. And since you probably pissing a lot of powerful people/groups, i pray for you and your family's safety. Thankyou for bringing awareness to us. Support from Indonesia!

  7. Hasan I like your show , I think it's extremely funny and interesting to watch, but let me tell you this I am a Saudi citizen who live there currently and I saw the news about Saudi government and the war in Yemen . most of what you had said about our country and our leaders is unfortunately not true, if so then why people all over Saudis are cheering for them .

  8. Why has this been banned on net flix? I heard minaj had recently received a personal invitiation from mbs to do hajj.

  9. What people and Muslims don't understand is that Saudi Arabia's constituion is the Qur'an and critizing their government means critizing the constitution and their constitution is the Qur'an that's why they kill people.. so islam is the problem not muslims

  10. Hey Hasan, do you know how many ballistic missiles houthis have launched towards Saudi territories? Which as a fact includes the city of Makkah, yes, the same city towards which you and me pray. Don't believe me? Just ask Google.

  11. Saoudites with the help and support of the U.S. and U.K. Are decimating Yemen innocent children.
    Someone have to stop this inhuman assault, they are torturing an entire country.

  12. I want to like you I really do, but I know someone is paying you to say this
    If you were a real justice warrior you would’ve talked about India caste system or racism against minorities in India or the gang rape culture, you know since you have Indian heritage
    Oh well
    Everyone have a price and you are merely a human

  13. as a Saudi citizen
    I have to say that,
    Not every monarch is a dictator, We are happy for the change that MBs is making! And the vision that we are heading to.

    The people who were detained they were held accountable for couple of theft crimes ! And some were irani spy’s or Muslim brotherhood gangs.

    As for Yemen, just like what you mentioned it’s a WAR houthis chose, they are bombing Yemen and killing civilians ! Our military is far advanced than killing random civilians but the houthis are deliberately creating the famine.. this is the outcome of wars.

    Get out of your diplomatic ass and do better research pls, study Iran foreign policy, study Qatar and Muslim brotherhood gangs then come and speak.
    We’re finally doing GOOD!
    Also dehumanizing mbs with your tabloid gossip of locking up mothers ? Lol get better facts than your mom’s afternoon tea gossip 🙂

  14. إِنَّ الَّذِينَ يُحِبُّونَ أَن تَشِيعَ الْفَاحِشَةُ فِي الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ فِي الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
    যারা পছন্দ করে যে, ঈমানদারদের মধ্যে ব্যভিচার প্রসার লাভ করুক, তাদের জন্যে ইহাকাল ও পরকালে যন্ত্রণাদায়ক শাস্তি রয়েছে। আল্লাহ জানেন, তোমরা জান না।
    Those who love (to see) scandal published broadcast among the Believers, will have a grievous Penalty in this life and in the Hereafter: Allah knows, and ye know not.

  15. Hansan you should look at the uploaded The Sharm Sharma Show he criticizeing you that you are wrong about the Indian elections

  16. If you only could limit your hand and body movements you would have way more viewers and repeat viewers… I have ADHD & ADD It's very difficult to focus and listen….

  17. Salman is 32. I am also 32. He did meeting with Jef bezos. I'm calling Amazon customer Care what happened to my flash light.

  18. Saying 'Negro' is not racist. It is world used often in evolutionary biology. You dumb Americans. OFFENSIVE.

  19. No proof that The people who were in 911 are saudis. The plane melted and there is no proof that they are Saudi they could of been eney body. Why was there no fighter jets in the air

  20. Mohammed Bone Saw (MBS) of Saudi Jewrabia is a great reformist. He is an expert in reforming human bodies into parts.

  21. So your not gonna talk about the services and the developing from Saudi Arabia for mecca 🕋 so people like you have the best prayer and be peaceful 😪
    Thank you bro you showed them a lot of hate for my country

  22. boycott their oil for god sake….(god doesnt exist and the saudi government proves it) they are a burden on the world and females

  23. Brilliant Hasan just brilliant!time the west gets called out for their obsession of supporting vile dictators, at the expense of freedom for the many!

  24. Maybe good strong Muslims should all boycott the hajj, Omrah, and use that money to do good towards the poor. Oppressed, and the vulnerable, I’m sure Allah would find this infinitely better! And it may just contribute the overthrow of this vile unislamic house of Saud!

  25. 0:10 see you he made you certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that Saudi Arabia a country that has many journalists cretics has decided to kill this one single journalist. this how stupid some people are.

  26. First we don't call MBS with Apu Rsasa we call him apu sulman so stop layin
    2nd there is 546 mempar off suad
    3rd we didn't give them passports

  27. 5:00
    Has any Indian noticed that the tune was similar to that of Carryminati's Diss track song for pewdiepie?

  28. Sheikh ul Islam Abu Bakr al Baghdadi is the true leader or Islam & leading muslims to being a superpower

  29. 90% of this video are lies
    this guy doesn't know what is he talking about .
    we are not in war with the Citizens of yemen its against houthi missiles who are killing and torturing the citizens we are giving our help to yemen citizens actually we have about a million yemenies in saudi arabia of 30million saudi . second thing he kept saying that we support terrorism how can we support terrorism when we're suffring from terrorism isis kept exploding mosques in saudi alot of saudis died of terrorism the rest of the video don't make any sense saudi arabia is the biggest supporter of muslims and poor countries everywhere with everything we keep donating a lot of money for muslim poor countries from 2007 to 2017 the numbers are more than 33 billion for 78 countries donated by saudi arabia then you come and say that saudi governemnt is criminal ? > the only criminal country in here is america if we started to talk about the crimes america did we're gonna need more than 18 mins video .

  30. If you’re saying the government of Saudi Arabia doesn’t represent Muslims and i agree with that … still I don’t want my country to be like urs and you don’t represent Muslims too.

  31. the truth is that mbs is destroying all of the Muslim world they promote to work with Israel then kills his own Muslim brothers in Yemen and then they have a grudge with Iran and he is just a dog of Usa. I dont like dogs of USA bcz USA them selves are dogs of Israel, that why Muammar Gaddafi was my favorite leader in recent history he didnt bow down to these Ziopigs, so USA call him a terrorist same said for Iran and Bashar Al Assad,

  32. I think this episode is far away from the truth and misleading.

    I still remember Afghanistani report about the aid sent to Afghanistan by USA they said people are starving to death during the war and US aiding them with music instruments and toys. The media showed the west that Afghan want freedom from Taliban and want entertainment… In reality Afghanistan was the poorest country in the world and missing the basic needs of foods and drinking water.
    The same thing said about all Arab countries in turmoil situations now e.g. Iraq, Yamen , Syria, Egypt, Lebanon, etc.
    Rich Arab countries destroyed lost its security and wealth to other countries.
    People must focus on real problem, stop wars around, security, good economic for good living.

  33. Heartbreaking to see a war going on in this century. We have achieved so much in science yet nothing in humanity

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