Tariq Trotter’s Irk List: TV Stars That Change Too Quickly, Late-in-the-Game Huggers
-Tariq, you okay, buddy?
You look annoyed. -No, I’m good.
[ Laughter ] -You sure?
You don’t seem good. -I just got some things
on my mind, yo. Stuff to go on my irk list. [ Laughter ] -What’s an irk list? -Oh, it’s a list that I keep of,
you know, things that annoy me. [ Laughter ] -So these are things
that annoy you and you’re just thinking about
that right now. -Yeah, people, places, things.
Random stuff. TV stars who come back
looking different, you know. [ Laughter ] -What are you talking about? -I mean, like, they start off,
like, in a pilot, or in season one, and they’re
still looking kind of relatable, like, you know, while they’re
still Olympic hopefuls. And then boom —
the show gets picked up. They’re in season two, episode
one with a new set of choppers. And it’s just like —
[ Laughter and applause ] It’s too sudden of a change
for me, man. I like a gradual evolution. I don’t want to tune in and then
immediately think like, “What in the Ceelo Green
is this mess here?” [ Laughter ] Like, the first thing
they get is teeth even before, like,
a gym membership. [ Laughter ] -Yeah. -So then you wind up
losing weight. And then you’re skinny, but you
still got your fat teeth. [ Laughter and applause ] -Get your teeth on first.
Work out first. That would irk me too. -Yeah. I mean, it’s either that or just
the ones where you know something is up but you can’t
put your finger on it? It’s them dominos all up
in your mouth, man. [ Laughter ] Shark week, you know. Don’t even get me started with
the entire cast of “Shameless.” [ Audience ohs ] -Really?
-Yeah, don’t get me started. [ Laughter ] -I don’t want you to get irked. -What is up with people
calling everything an event? Like, every occurrence that
happens is not an event. I feel like social media
is to blame because you post one picture
and then everyone’s all, “I’m sorry I missed the event. I saw your birthday event
shenanigans.” [ Laughter ] I mean, I took my 4-year-old to Chuck E. Cheese
for a birthday pizza. It was no event. And when did we start using
the word “shenanigans” all willy nilly, like — [ Laughter ] It just irks me, Jimmy.
[ Laughter ] -These are things that irk you. These are things
that bother you. Things that irk you.
-Yeah, stuff that cooks me. -Yeah, yeah. “Sorry I missed your event,
dude.” It wasn’t an event.
-Wasn’t an event. -Just getting pizza.
-Yeah, we went bowling. Geez. That almost irks me as much as,
like, late-in-the-game huggers. -Late-in-the-game huggers? -Yeah, yeah, you know,
I feel like we usually establish a greeting protocol
quite early on. You know, like, I mean,
if we’re mourning a loss, we celebrating a victory,
then a pass is given. But if you’re a fist-bump,
head-nod, hive-five greeter, especially in a work place, you can’t just come in
like, “It’s Wednesday.” [ Laughter ] “Bring it in.” -No, no, no. No. Tariq Trotter, everybody.
That’s his irk list. [ Cheers and applause ] Things that irk you. I like finding out
what irks you. I’m sorry, buddy.
Let’s talk about it.