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The History of Four Loko

The History of Four Loko


– In 2010, one
23.5 ounce camo can turned the entire world loko. Human beings have been combining caffeine and booze for centuries. Italians would spike espresso with grappa and call it caffe corretto. In Spain, they’d use whisky or
brandy and call it carajillo. Things changed in the 1970s
when a Thai business man concocted an herbal
energy boosting tincture, he called it RedBull. This is the first energy drink. 1997, RedBull comes to America, caffeine isn’t just about coffee anymore. Millions of people are totally psyched. 1999, members of the
Kappa Sigma fraternity at The Ohio State University begin mixing energy drinks and booze during frat house parties, as do sorority houses,
many, many many bars, and assorted guidos all over the world, how you doin’? Y2Kish, Jeff Wright, Jaisen
Freeman, and Christopher Hunter, three bros at The Ohio State University, and members of Kappa Sig, graduate college, congrats guys, good job. 2001, “Fast and Furious” is released. I’m sure those dudes watched it. 2003, those three frat
bros we were talking about noticed the growing
popularity of energy drinks, they thought they could do it better. In 2005, the boys found Phusion Projects with the PH like Phish, dedicated to creating caffeinated booze. They described themselves
as quote “Their own target market,” which yeah, seems about right. Later, after a period
of probably very fun R&D they developed Four. A caffeinated alcoholic drink with 6% ABV named after
it’s four main ingredients, caffeine, taurine, guarana and wormwood. Yes, wormwood is that thing in absinthe, you’re totally right. 2006, Four is a giant flop, but Fast and the Furious:
Tokyo Drift is not. 2008, after some more failed iteration, Phusion makes an all or nothing gamble with a new drink. They called it Four Loko. According to experts,
Four Loko is effectively four to six beers, a shot of expresso and on RedBull in one can. (burp) 2010, it’s the year of the Loko. Phusion blows wide open,
tripling their revenue, bringing an estimated 150 million, almost as much as Tokyo Drift. Four Loko becomes a
pop culture phenomenon. It also gets the unofficial
tagline “Hyper, Horny, and Happy” from the Ball State Daily News. However, Senator Chuck Schumer
had different sentiments, claiming it’s quote
“Designed to appear hip with flashy colors and
funky designs that could appeal to younger customers.” This brings us to the fall of Loko. October 2010, New Jersey’s Ramapo College bans Four Loko, blaming
it for the more than 20 students that needed to be hospitalized from excessive drinking. Also in October, a dude
is arrested after breaking into a home and pooping
all over the place, his last recollection is of
course, drinking a Four Loko. Also, also in October,
production wraps in Atlanta for Fast Five. Halloween 2010, a young
Wil Fulton, AKA me, drinks two Four Lokos, that’s ocho Loko, eats an entire sleeve
of Oreos and throws up in his roommate’s shoe. I am so sorry, dude. All this lead to more bans. The University of Maryland, banned. Boston College, banned. Wegmans, banned. All this lead to state bans, Michigan, Washington,
Utah, Oklahoma, banned. November 16th, in a publicity stunt, New York Assembly man Felix Ortiz actually drinks two Four
Lokos, that’s ocho Loko to prove how dangerous they are. In less than 50 minutes his blood pressure skyrocketed and he threw up but he did not do so in his roommates shoe, good on you, Felix. November 17th, the day
the Loko truly died. Phusion announced they
will be taking caffeine, guarana and taurine out of
their recipe nationwide. Later that night, heartbroken New Yorkers hold a candlelight vigil for their fallen malt beverage in Union Square. November 18th, the Four Loko black market emerges out of the tears. People begin stocking up on OG Four Lokos, selling them on sites like
craigslist for upwards of $50 per can. November 20th, Phusion
is stuck with 30 million dollars worth of unsellable inventory. December, the new and neutered
Four Loko is released, they took out the energy
but kept the booze, the public was not entirely enthused. January 2011, an undercover
sting reveals certain stores in Virginia were still
selling the old formula. At the end of it all,
Four Lokos fueled college drinking careers where
countless imbibers over the course of four jittery delirious years let’s salute the can
decked in electric camo, the horny, hyper, happy dudes, the super dangerous but
admittedly fun blackout sauce. We will never forget you, Four Loko. Even though we have
trouble remembering you in the first place.

36 comments on “The History of Four Loko

  1. Omggggg Four Loko 😂 the reason behind most of my poor decisions and memory loss during my late teens/early 20s !!! It came out a year after I graduated high school. Man this video brought back bittersweet nostalgia 🤣

  2. I saw Wil Fulton drinking Red Bull and Blue Raspberry Four Loko, so I bought Red Bull and Blue Raspberry Four Loko…

  3. I once saw someone shotgun two 4Lokos back-to-back, easily the most impressive and disgusting thing I've ever seen someone do.

  4. Last time I had four loko was in 2010 I was doing shots of it while playing beer pong…..that was the last time I had it lol

  5. I was in my sophomore year of high school in 2010 and my friend got me 2 cans of it. I don't remember half of the day but apparently I was the type to crack hilarious jokes. The only thing I remember was a girl stuffing gum into my mouth to mask the smell of alcohol on my breath before my teacher discovered it. lol

  6. Damn this is so so good. Did anyone else ever play Edward Loko Hands? Where you'd get two cans duct taped to your hands and have to drink our way through them to get free…

    Just me? Cool.

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  8. I think we should keep the party going with The History of Steel Reserve. I mean, it’s endorsed by The Ramones so you know it’s good.

    https://youtu.be/p71c6Yu1Fg0

  9. Best senior year of high school ever.
    Random: aye bruh you heard niggas dying from 4 Loko

    Everybody: bruhhhh let's cop

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